Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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