Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
