thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
