just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
