one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
