im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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