I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
