My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
