Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
