I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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