I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
