I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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