Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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