you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
