Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
