I wannas sexs uuuuu
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
