my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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