I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
