i would punch a child for taco bell
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
