My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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