I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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