That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
