We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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