dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
