You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
