honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
