I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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