Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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