her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
