It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
