Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
