Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
