THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you would pick up someone in the library
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
