I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
