Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
