i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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