This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
