I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
