Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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