3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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