Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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