Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
BRING THE BAGELS
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
