It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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