Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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