He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
