I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
