you guys were way drunker than both of me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
