We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
