I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
