I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
