Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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