Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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